Friday, January 14, 2011

A Watermelon Story

We grew it ourselves.  It doesn't get any sweeter than that!

ONCE upon a time...

When I was preggers for my youngest, at about 6.5 months along, I fell hard one summer day and broke my ankle.  All I was doing is walking, but I had flip flops on, and it had just rained.  

Well, it cracked like the limb of a tree and I was sure I knew what had happened.  A ride in the ambulance to the hospital where it was confirmed and it was casted.  They sent me home sans crutches.  But that's another story for another day.

Two weeks with a cast and then they tell me I need surgery in order for the bone to properly heal.

During surgery, I had a spinal; pregnant women should not be administered general anesthesia.  I had my eyes closed for some of the surgery just (sort of) relaxing-- listening to the sounds of the power drill, ((((((shudder)))))) the doctors and nurses talking about their weekend coming up...and in walks a  resident.  

He looks around and starts chatting.  He doesn't know that I am conscious, he thinks I'm out.

He notices that I am rather...rotund.  He doesn't know I'm with child.

He also didn't know I was awake.  Did I say that already?  Yes.

Well, he commented about my...rotundness.

"What happened here?  What's with her belly?!

Belly was draped but my children were large babies.  I'm sure I looked HUGE there compared to my legs.

Oh.  I loved it.

I kept my eyes closed and loudly said:  


I think that was one of my best lines, delivered in the best possible way at the best possible time.

I.  Scared.  That.  Man.  To.  Death.

I hope that if he is ever in a teaching hospital, that he warns his students that there is more than one way to approach a patient that LOOKS LIKE she's asleep.

Did I ever mention it was quite comical to have a broken ankle, with a cast from my toes to my knee while pregnant? I think I sense a new series coming on.


Linda said...

That is too funny, not the broken ankle,I know that had to be miserable, but I can picture that Doc nearly jumping out of his skin. LOL

Unknown said...

wish i could have seen his face! that is too funny!

Penny said...

Not only was your comment perfect, but you taught that resident a good lesson -- one that he'll never forget!!

Becky said...

hahahahahaha!! Love it! I bet he got a lecture after your surgery was over!! I'm sure he never forgot it!

Dar said...

LOL, thanks for the morning giggles. That is the funniest thing I've read in awhile. What a hoot.

PBKISSES said...

So funny! I bet HE got out of there fast! My aunt used to tell me when I was little girl (when she was expecting) that she ate a watermelon seed. I never quite bought it- I knew my aunt too well! So funny- thanks for the grin!

~from my front porch in the mountains~ said...

Oh, so funny!!!!! I love it, Joni :)

We finally got mail yesterday! And my rice bag was included. Thank you, thank you! You are the sweetest...
xo, misha

Kathie Truitt said...

AAAAAHHHHAAAA!! Oh my goodness - I laughed out loud at that one! Good grief - he was a doctor - had he not seen a pregnant woman before?

Karen~The Barely There Primitive Bear said...

Oh, that was a good one! I bet he learned his lesson! LOL...Thanks for the laugh!

Bear Hugs & Blessings~Karen

Lauren said...

Hahaha that is great!

Hollace said...

I'm glad you got him! Why do they talk about patients within earshot?

That was such a funny line you said!

Donna said...

ROFLMAO!!! I bet he never forgot that line!

Shirley said...

I agree - nothing like home grown watermelon.

Tanya said...

What a great story! I had to laugh out loud! I'll bet he tells that story more than you do! HA!