Wednesday, October 19, 2011

A Balancing Act

Jamie and the baby have been home for about five days.  Life is settling into a routine, somewhat, once again. With two kids under two, life is about a lot of diaper changing, a lot of feedings, and putting ourselves last.  

Some days as a young mother, you're lucky to get a shower and get dressed and you've hit the jackpot if you get to dry or style your hair and put on a little makeup.

I told Jamie and Thad tonight, it might not seem like it now, but THESE are the BEST days of their lives.  Hands down.  

They may only realize this once they are looking backward, but oh, the sweet times with these babies, the kisses, the hugs, the sweet sleepy eyes in the morning, the tussled hair that is so soft and smells so good, the little hands reaching for yours, the innocent trust these little souls have for us who have been blessed with their very existence.

I have to balance staying long enough with staying too long.

I have to be sure that mama is feeling healthy and strong again, and confident in being alone with two little ones before I take that 750 mile trip back home.

It's hard.

I love being a grandma, I just hate being so far away.

But, I have a family back home that I must return to, and I am hoping for the right signal to beep and tell me it's time to go back.  Those at home have made it possible for me to be here and I so appreciate the sacrifices they've willingly made.

I have to say, I feel lucky to be here, because it's enjoyable to watch your children become parents, to grow with their children into their role and to perform their responsibilities well--to learn about selflessness and sacrifice.  To watch the attitudes of youth fall to the wayside as adulthood and parenthood are fully embraced....

I tell them in the best way I know how that they will never, ever be sorry for giving it all that they've got.

For proof, I must back this up with my actions, my service,my gifts of time and attention, daily proving that family is the most important thing in the world, hands down.

Lake Guntersville, Alabama January 2010

Have our children seen us demonstrate compassion?  Have they seen us take a meal to someone who's sick?  Be kind to a stray animal or person?  Make a special meal or dessert  for them just because?  

Have they heard us not only pray, but also mention the answered prayer?  Have they seen us take care of our home, and everyone in it even when we didn't feel like it?   

These are the little big things that they see, when, as moms--we're immersed in the "daily-ness" of life when--sometimes we feel like "no one is looking"...they truly are.  They watch us.

Those little eyes see us.

(As soon as I have a chance, I'll upload some new pics of Audrey and Levi!)


Kerin said...

Sure enjoyed reading your thoughts today. I love my family with all of my heart, and I love to serve them with my whole heart too.
It's good to know that there are parents out there that take their roles to heart. It is the most important job that we will every do.
A job that could not be done without prayer and our Heavenly Fathers blessings!

Jeannette said...

A lovely tribute to family...blessings on your family.

denise said...

what a lovely, bittersweet blog post. it almost made me cry because i miss my grandbabies,too. i live in Florida and they live in Kentucky.

mary your sis said...

What you say is so true. Love is sacrificial, but it is so worth the investment. Someone told me once that when you have children, you must invest. You will either invest in their future when they're young and will learn from your example, or you'll invest with them when they're older; if you wait until then to spend time with them, it's too late. Then you will invest worry and fear and your returns will be heartbreak. Little Levi and Baby Audrey are blessed to have parents who love them and are willing to invest in a good relationship that will grow with them over the years...

nancy said...

thank you I loved your blog today. It was very inspiring. the words hit home and made my heart swell with proud love and so much joy I could not have said it better than you. heres to be being a mother and now a grandmother and watching the torch be carried on. nancy

Kathie Truitt said...

Now Joni you know as well as I do you lied to those kids. We both know the BEST days of our lives are when we have grandbabies! (wink!)