When we got home from our latest trip south for the big race weekend, I took Dixie in for a good bath on a beautiful spring day, paid the car wash attendant extra and got the Rain-X treatment. She looked so PURTY. I could tell she felt better. I had to park Dixie outside, since her stall in the pole barn is currently taken by my tables set up for a garage sale in the next week or two.
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SWOOSH! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SWOOSH! SPLAT! SPLAT! SWOOSH! SPLAT!
SPLAT!
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Well....I think the BIRDY AIR FORCE DIVE BOMB TEAM is using Dixie as a target for their Poo Bombs...because she is literally drenched in bird poo! I think their commander has said "See if you can hit the broad side of that bright red SUV!" And they've all happily complied.
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Poor Dixie. It will do me NO GOOD to take her for another bath, because she's still going to be parked in the yard. So, I best hurry up and have that stinkin' garage sale, so that my dear Dixie isn't completely OBLITERATED by bird poo!
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How humiliating for Dixie, she's such a proud machine, brought to shame, humiliated by little birds!
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(I think I'll bathe her here at home next time so she won't have to be driven to town for the car wash, she would suffer so if anyone else saw her like this!)
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Now...speaking of bird poo....
Maxine wants to talk to you for a little while about BIRDS...
and POO...!
Here goes...(you know Maxine, right? She's that wise little white-haired, cranky lady?!)
I bought a bird feeder.
I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed.
What a beauty of
A bird feeder it was,
as I filled it
Lovingly with seed.
Within a
Week
we had hundreds of birds
Taking advantage of the
Continuous flow of free and
Easily accessible food.
But then the birds started
But then the birds started
Building nests in the boards
Of the patio, above the table,
And next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop.
Then came the poop.
It was
Everywhere: on the patio tile,
The chairs, the table
..Everywhere!
Then some of the birds
Turned mean.
They would
Dive bomb me and try to
Peck me even though I had
Fed them out of my own
Pocket.
And others birds were
Boisterous and loud.
They
Sat on the feeder and
Squawked and screamed at
All hours of the day and night
And demanded that I fill it
When it got low on food.
After a while,
I couldn't even
Sit on my own back porch
Anymore...
So I took down the
Bird feeder
and in three days
The birds were gone.
I cleaned
Up their mess
and took down
The many nests they had built
All over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like
It used to be ....
Quiet, serene.....
And no one demanding their
Rights to a free meal.
Now let's see.
Our government gives out
Free food, subsidized housing,
Free medical care and free
Education,
and allows anyone
Born here to be an automatic
Citizen..
Then the illegals came by the
Tens of thousands.
Suddenly
Our taxes went up to pay for
Free services; small apartments
Are housing 5 families; you
Have to wait 6 hours to be seen
By an emergency room doctor;
Your child's second grade class is
Behind other schools because
Over half the class doesn't speakEnglish...and won't!
Corn Flakes now come in a
Bilingual box;
I have to'press one ' to hear my bank
Talk to me in English, and
People waving flags other
Than 'Old Glory'
are
Squawking and screaming
In the streets, demanding
More rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion,
but maybe...
it's time for the government
To take down the bird feeder.
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(Maxine, it looks like our leaders LOVE to make us keep cleaning up POOP!)
(Maxine, it looks like our leaders LOVE to make us keep cleaning up POOP!)
7 comments:
Too funny!
Can I please hear an "AAAAmen" to that one, sugar?!?!?! Yep, I agree with ya, chick.
xoxo,
Connie
Yep, and another Amen over here!
My Yukon was named JoeBob. It got totalled and now I have a Volvo wagon named Nigel, heehe!
Blessings~LillySue
Catching up on with your blog. That is just a very sad situation, poor Dixie. I love your wreaths, you did a great job.
denise
Don't you just hate it when that happens.
Actually had a bird fly through and open window into my college class and do his business on a fellow classmates head.
I couldn't see your car bumper. Do you have any bumper sticker that would offend a liberal bird? LOL!
Hahahaaa..!!! True, TRUE!! Good post sweetie!hughugs
This was great!
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